What You Say vs. What You Do

What You Say vs. What You Do

There's often a disconnect between what we say and what we do.

We tell ourselves we're going to do one thing, then we do another. How often do you find yourself saying these statements to yourself or others (but never following through on them):

• "I'm going to start eating healthier."

• "I'm going to start going to the gym."

• "I'm going to start socializing more."

• "I'm going to start practicing guitar."

• "I'm going to start a small business."

• "I'm going to start following one of my passions."

We have a lot of things that we want to do. But what we want to do and what we actually do are often two very different things.

Of course, this disconnect creates low self-esteem in ourselves.

We have certain ideas about how we should act, then we don't do them and we quickly become disappointed, frustrated, and angry at ourselves.

So how do we bridge this disconnect between what we say vs. what we do? How can we actually take our desire to do something and transform it into a real habit?

One scientifically supported method for following through on small habits and goals is to use something called implementation intentions.

These are a specific kind of "personal statement" that are designed to motivate you to take action, rather than just saying something and never actually doing it. The basic idea is to form an "if-then" plan to help instill new habits in your life in a specific situation.

The basic formula is: "If situation X arises, I will perform response Y."

X refers to the situation you want to improve in your life, and Y refers to something small and realistic that you can actually do to work toward that improvement.

Here are some quick examples of implementation intentions:

• "If I'm thirsty and go to get a drink, then I will choose water over soda."

• "If I want to get fit before the summer, then I'll go to the gym 2-3 times a week."

• "If I'm feeling bored and lonely, then I'll call up a friend or go out to a movie/restaurant/bar with someone."

• "If I have free time after work, then I'll spend it practicing my guitar scales instead of watching TV."

By forming these specific intentions, we prime our minds to act in these new specific ways. The more detailed your plan of action is, the more effective it will be.

The best part about using this tool is that it makes our goals no longer abstract and distant.

They are more than just "wants" now - they are a plan. We now have a clearly defined course of action to actually start making a difference, not just desiring one.

Try this! Write down an implementation intention of your own right now.

Just focus on one specific habit in your life that you want to change. Then post it around your house in areas where you'll see it, and try repeating it to yourself in a meaningful and purposeful way every morning and night for 2 weeks. Get it ingrained into your brain.

Now, when you find yourself in that situation, you'll be more prepared to finally act on that intention and desire.